Self as Centre

Looking after oneself, one looks after others.
Looking after others, one looks after oneself
— Buddha, Samyutta Nikaya

We all know that taking care of ourselves is pretty important for a sustainable life. Yet, we're raised in a way where prioritising our own happiness is many cases are seen as selfish. If you're not one with yourself or if you don't know where your centre is - how are you supposed to be one with others? I mean we've all heard it before, right. But how do we find our centre? What is our centre?Do I have been through hell to get there? Will it just arrive one day as an epiphany? And is our centre what we want it to be? No one really knows. The way there is a journey that will be as unique to everyone as they are in the world. The most important part is to be true and kind to oneself. Our centre is a very subtle place. We still need to find that place, listen and act from it to truly show our honest actions in its purest form, of which our intentions are true. 

My mom once told me something that will stick with me forever. Take it how you ever you'd like. She said: "No matter what happens. You'll always have yourself. So prioritie and take care of yourself".  It's a fine line between selfishness and self care. When she told me that it made me understand was that, of course, do my best to care for others and to do good for this world, however, if I am not prioritising my feelings (that will set the tone for every day vibes and actions), how am I truly going to be able to help and care for others? So to come from a place of love, where we look inwards and listen, to create space and to process, we can become very good friends with ourselves. Our mood and how we view things will change. You are in control over your life and feelings. And there's so many ways to do good things in this life. So wouldn't it be great to live a life of doing all that. Where you fully know yourself, you're true to yourself and your happy with yourself. 


Here's some ways

For you to take care of.... Yourself! 


Be aware of your feelings. Notice what comes up and when it comes up. It can often be very hard to face the truth of oneself. Especially when the ego has taken over and we're not acting in a way that we would agree with if the were the third person. Just being aware of what's going on. When are you feeling down, and why? Where is it coming from? Is it temporary or do you need to change something? What time of the day do you feel negative, down or jealous? Are you creating stories in your head about "what happened"? Without fixing or changing anything, just acknowledge whats going on. It's sometimes harder to listen to our own problems than to listen to a friends. But as we live in this body in this world, it is important, I would say, to be able to listen to ourselves. Without judgement, just acceptance and love - being aware of your feelings. 


When was the last time you did something for the first time? Be curious! With everything! All! The! Time! Energy is created when we're passionate about learning something new. And when I say curious, I mean it in every way. Explore new hobbies that you want to do. Explore flavours that will bring you a new experience. Be curious listening to other peoples stories - they might inspire you. And even if you don't agree, just listen and try to understand and see where they're coming from. Be curious when it comes to vulnerability (I know, this one is hard, but yet so important) and see where your tipping point is, that will help you A LOT when it comes to understanding your own patterns and sometimes even the source of actions. Be curious in a way that will help you become a better person, with more experiences and understanding of the world. It will create a place of self centre knowing that there's so much going on out there - and if you're comfortable with it or not, you know that you always can come back to yourself. With a little bit more knowledge and experience.  


Always remember that you all cases, without a doubt, have a choice. Then, of course, we put perspective, privilege, morale into it and that will sometimes change the outcome. But you do have the choice of of deciding where you want your life to be heading. Im a big believer in that once thing leads to another, but you can always effect the direction of your path through discipline and passion. We are so used to living by the norm, doing 'what we are supposed to do'. Doing else wise would be in many cases very hard and scary. When I am saying choice it doesn't have to be major things all the time. It could be something as simple as structuring your days in a way that would work better for you or noticing if you are surrounding yourself with unnecessary drama. You are the only one can make the choice of what vibe you want to create and radiate.


Surrond yourself with great people! I could not preach this more. It will change the game for sure. We've all heard this saying before: "your vibe attracts your tribe", which is true, but to look at it from a different angle; Your tribe affects your vibe!! Yes! Surround yourself with people that inspire you, with people that are different but similar at the same time. Creating a community on trust where you can be yourself. It could be in a yoga studio, at a pottery class, at the local park with all the dogs, in your flat share (or neighbourhood) or at your favourite cafe. Just creating that community where you can just have a sense about not being alone. Because you're not. 


When you're tired, rest. Listen to your body, because when it's telling you it's tired. It's tired. period. Recap on sleep, take it slow, recharge, check in. Because that's often when the magic happens.


Be patient with yourself and others. Give yourself space and time for what you need, and remember that a lot of great things takes time. There's no need to try to live in the future. Well, it's great to have aspirations and dreams. But then it's all about going back to your centre and the present moment where we are patient and ambitious. 


Last but not least - Pleasure. Yes, yes and yes. It is sooooo important to feel pleasure. In every way and form it arrises for you. Finishing a task, eating something you really love or maybe sex. Anything that makes your heart pumping. Feeling the excitement and pleasure is so important to get us going. 


Try some of these exercises in your own way. I am sharing from my experience and you might not agree with what I am saying. And that's okey. We're all so different with different thoughts and minds just trying to contribute to something better in this work, right. Just know that you are enough in every way. Be kind to yourself. Do what you like and give yourself a break...

So how do we find our centre? What is our centre? Do I have been through hell to get there? Will it just arrive one day as an epiphany? And is our centre what we want it to be? No one really knows. It's everyones own journey to find out. So on your way there, just remember: 

Looking after oneself, one looks after others.
Looking after others, one looks after oneself
— Buddha, Samyutta Nikaya